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Baby, It's Cold Outside

Well, we've missed you.

But rejuvenated and ready as ever to juice, bex & I are now awaiting your next questions, comments, and general debauchery/merriment. So you need a resource, review, advice, or just want to chat? Hit us up!

And while you're at it, check out our new review on what to do with that big clumsy exercise ball that's gathering dust in the corner of your apartment. I'll bet you haven't thought of EVERY position, yoga or otherwise... Or if your tastes prefer straight-up toys, Nomi Tang has a distinctive, holistic-approach to vibes that will make your toes curl. Fo' Real.

Stay warm these cold, cold nights. Get Your Juice On.

~a. & bex

Nomi is my Homegirl.

If you've been following our toy reviews, you probably have gathered that this grrl is a huge fan of outer stimulation. Well, if you're in the same boat, check out Nomi Tang's Better Than Chocolate vibe.

Winged like a lady-lovin' angel of O, this beautiful, sleek, soft vibe hugs you in all the right places with her subtle curves and almost fabric-like skin (thermoplastic elastomer & polycarbonate - silicon & water-based lubes applicable!!!). Renamed - like we do - in honor of her ingenious maker, "Nomi" has a complicated control system that takes a minute to... master, so we STRONGLY advise to figure her out before you get down to business (our Sex Ed goddess made this very frustrating faux pas). But don't let that discourage you! Nomi has three settings of rhythm, but you can adjust pressure, speed, and lock it into place if you like where you're headed. Plus, ladies, she's waterproof!

But I'm not ending it there. On TOP of all that gloriousness, Nomi comes beautifully packaged in her own, discreet box, plus a velour bag, instruction manual, and a one-year, no-questions-asked guarantee!

And from the rather charming notes from Ms. Tang herself, this company is into eco-friendly production & disposal, not to mention the, ahem, in-depth synopsis about how to explore & love yourself from the inside out with vibrators. "First, create a nice environment: make sure that you are warm, care for a sensual lighting and music, switch off your phone, and simply relax for a bit...gently touching and rubbing the skin on your neck and shoulders..."

Do you love this woman yet??? A sex toy inventor that takes time to explain this to newcomers to self-love - my wish is that one day everyone has someone to say take a minute for yourself; its not ALL about getting off. And you can tell, Tang Loves her job. Check out her blog here and see for yourself.

And go get yourself a Nomi of your own. Five Lemons - principles, toys, and all that jazz.



Exercise Ball

I know, I didn't name this one.

You would be amazed what a simple rubber ball would do not only for your posture but for your sex life! Especially if you have the same problem I do, (well, it’s more my partner’s problem), when it comes to oral play I’m a bit of a “bucker”. I nearly broker her nose a few times.

Oops. What can I say? I get into it, which tends to mean my body is going to whip back and forth. It happens to the best of us. The beauty of the exercise ball is that not only does it absorb the shock, but it lets you move your body in some pretty awesome positions.

Plus, balls come in different sizes (hehee), so you can get just the right size for you to bend over forwards or backwards. You could even have multiple sizes of balls to mix things up.

And on a slightly separate subject, they’re also great for trimming your lady bits if your into that.

I give the Exercise Ball 5 fuckin' lemons, because it's tricky, but it's a damn good time.

Definitely for sex with others, solo play is for well balanced advanced players (and preferably for soft flooring to break the fall should you slip). And remember, you (and your partner) are going to need to be in shape for this one!



Bitch Blog entitled "Prop 8..."

Response to a blog on Bitch entitled "Prop 8...", she desperately tries to put together a train wreck of an argument about how she's glad Obama won but she's disgusted to live in California now. She continues, saying that she will refuse to go to any heterosexual weddings and that any heterosexuals planning on getting married should call it off if they care at all about gay rights. She began this minnie rant with a paragraph going on and on about how she's glad Obama won, and gay people need to say that more so people don't get the wrong idea about why they're angry. jackass.

I refuse to start this with any excuses.

I was elated when Obama won, not because he is hope, but because he symbolizes the hope within us all that black people in America are being thought of instead of consistently disregarded or being targeted as rapist or gang leaders. He symbolizes the hope within us all that women will be remembered and taken care of when we say No. He symbolizes the hope within us all that the LGBT community WILL gain and maintain their rights. He symbolizes the hope within us all that because we are American we will fight and become a little bit safer everyday in our own towns, cities, states, and country.

He symbolizes America. Every President symbolizes America, they do not become America, they simply become a well known representation. The hope that we all carried within ourselves for this well known symbol to become diverse was not fully achieved, but we got a hell of a lot closer.

I cried for a full day and a half when Prop 8 started to show signs of being passed. The fact that my marriage would not be recognized in a state and a country I am so proud to come from nearly broke me. The fact that I am so proud to represent this state, and it is not proud to represent me, nearly made me throw up my hands and give up.

But I will not make excuses; I will not blame heterosexual couples that just want to love each other as I want to love my wife. I will not blame religious people for forgetting just how revolutionary and progressive their leader was. I will not blame black and Latino communities as the media has for taking away this right. I will not blame a person that is just a symbol, for almost losing my hope.

This is not a new fight, but in the grand scheme of things this is a young and very fragile fight, I should have protected it more.

We ARE are country, some of us have to fight more to make that point, but in the end the only way to win, the only way to protect ourselves, our hope, and our country is to try to listen to each other. To care for each other.

Because simply put, Divided We Are Always Conquered.




As of last night 3 petitions have already been filed with the CA Supreme Court,
Petition 1: American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights
Petition 2: the counties of San Francisco, Los Angeles and Santa Clara
Petition 3: Gloria Alfred, an attorney for the first gay couple to legally wed in the state. (She's badass, she'll get it done)

And the State Attorney General, Jerry Brown, says of the 16000 same-sex marriages performed between the court ruling in may and prop 8 passing Monday will remain valid.

So hopefully that will be a little comforting for everyone, it made me feel a little better. We just need to keep reminding ourselves and our community that we will not give up on each other.

As for re-opening prop 8, it really scares me, I fear that we would end up just going back and forth with gaining and losing our rights. Remember, people that are against gay marriage are just as determined as we are. If we win these current cases, we have a better chance at maintaining our rights.

In order to show our support (and rebuild our confidence), we will be in our wedding dresses in the Castro having a very gay, very happy, pub crawl. So come get dressed up in whatever you would like to be married in, or whatever you'd like to wear to a bitchin' wedding, and help us support our community and make everyone in the Castro feel a little bit better.


Love isn't wrong.

On August 23rd, 2008, two girls in love made promises to eachother in front of their families and friends, to protect one another, to support one another, to trust and heal and grow together. Not religious, but spiritual, they opted to wear clean white dresses because they could, because that May the great state of California gave them a basic human dignity, a right that they never took for granted. Not for one moment.

On November 4th, 2008, two girls in love went to the polls to protect themselves and others by voting to keep this basic human dignity, a right that 16,000 other couples never took for granted. Not for one moment.

On November 4th, 2008, as soon as America put a progressive and extraordinary man into our 44th Presidency, two girls in love had their hearts broken when Prop 8 passed, because they believed it would somehow be okay, that a state constitution would not uphold segregation and intolerance and inequality. Not again. Not for one moment. Not California.

Two girls in love will be walking down Market St. tomorrow in their clean, white dresses - the same dresses they made promises to eachother in a mere two months ago.
Gathering @ Civic Center 5:30
Ending at Dolores Park

Love isn't wrong. Protest Prop 8. Bring your veils & tuxes. And combat boots, if you like...
~ a.


Ask for Jane

Her daughter was 14 years old at the time. And fancy that, at 17, she kept her baby.

I don't know about everyone else, but my mother would never throw me under the bus like that.

Roe v. Wade is in serious danger of being overturned.

This can very much happen. In March of 2006 South Dakota outlawed all abortion. There is only one exception. If 3 separate doctors prove that she will die if she does not abort the pregnancy, then it is legal. Now ask yourself, how often do you think a doctor will guarantee that you will die?

Rape, incest, the woman's health being in possible danger, none of these count as valid reasons to legally get an abortion in South Dakota.

my body is all that i own.

Abbie Hoffman,
Allan Ginsburg,
Martin Luther King, Jr.,
Jimi Hendrix's version of Star-Spangled Banner,
David Dellinger,
John Lennon,
Gloria Steinem,

but what happened in our history that we forgot about Ruth Surgal ("Big Jane") and Laura Kaplan, The Abortion 7, The Service, The Abortion Counseling Service? When did we forget the estimated 11,000 women that had the balls to Ask for Jane?

Jane was created by Ruth Surgal while she was working with the Chicago Women's Liberation Union. It was slow to begin; she just helped friends of friends get in contact with an illegal abortion. Word spread that there was a woman in the area who would help, and she began to use the alias "Jane".

Some women from the Chicago Women's Liberation Union. Some of these women were also apart of Jane.

The demand grew, so, like a true revolutionary, Ruth recruited other women to work with her and Jane grew.

The women of Jane began to realize that $500 for a pretty scary experience just wasn't good enough, so they did more. They learned how to give safe abortions, and began training each other.

When Jane got busted in May of 1972, they estimated Jane had performed 11,000 safe illegal abortions. Not A Single Woman Died.

Not a single woman from Jane was found guilty. Not a single woman who used their service would testify against them. At least 2 women got lawyers because the police were trying to force them into testifying and these women refused to testify against Jane.

That's pretty fucking badass if you ask me.

So in response to Sarah Palin, you can try to take away my rights. Fuck You. I will be a better mother than you, I will care for my sisters, and if you outlaw abortion, Jane Will Be Back.