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The Dotted Delight

I didn’t name this dildo because I felt it sucked hairy old man balls. Sweaty ones. It’s curved so much it felt awkward and the little studs hurt my lady. The bullet vibrators that fit in the base of the dildo in two places made the studs hurt even more, I tried adding lube, but as opposed to helping my lady just turned into a frictionless slip-and-slide and those goddamn studs still hurt.

My lady does not like to feel like a theme park.

I hate this dildo. I want my 50 bucks back plus extra money for emotional damage. In exchange, I’ll give you a fuckin’ lemon.


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